It has been 3 months! It has gone fast and slow at the same time. But to think that we are so much closer to knowing the children God has planned for us than when we started this adoption process in May 2008 is sometimes hard to believe. And then other times, it's like enough already - let's know!! We are excited to see what the next month holds.08/29/09 - 3 Months!
It has been 3 months! It has gone fast and slow at the same time. But to think that we are so much closer to knowing the children God has planned for us than when we started this adoption process in May 2008 is sometimes hard to believe. And then other times, it's like enough already - let's know!! We are excited to see what the next month holds.
08/27/09 - Our "On Deck" Email
This email actually arrived on the 26th but we didn't see it (in fact almost missed it!) until the 27th! Amy, who hadn't even told Mike what an on deck email was because she thought it was so far in the future, had to stop her heart from racing to read through it!
An "On Deck" email is sent when a family is getting close to the top of the referral list. It asks the family to verify their age and gender request and make sure phone information is up to date.
So what does this mean? It means that we "could" receive our referral in 1-3 months! What does that mean? It means that in the next few months, we could know who are kids are!! We are still thinking it's a few months away, but it sure is exciting to be on deck!!!
So what happens after the referral call [that is when our agency calls, begins by saying the words every waiting-to-be-adoptive-parents are longing to hear, "This is your referral call!" and tells you about your child(ren)] - We would get an email with their pictures!!!!!!!! Then we would sign the acceptance letter and return it to America World. They will then be able to petition the courts in Ethiopia for a court date, which would come approximately 1-2 months later. A judge in Ethiopia will look through our paperwork and we will either pass court or something will not be quite right (something wrong on paperwork, judge doesn't come in to court that day, witness not able to show up due to car problems, the list goes on and on) and we will not pass court. If we pass, and 40% of families do not pass the first time, we will receive travel dates of 2-4 weeks later. If we do not pass, our agency will work to fix the error and we will receive another court date. So that's a summary of the journey ahead!!
NEXT STEPS: We will email our Family Coordinator Nicole at America World to verify that we will wait for a sibling referral but that we would be open to children aged 0-5. Then we will email our Social Worker Faith to ask about beginning the process of updating the age range on our home study. This will require Faith to change the age range to o-6 years old (in case we as referred a 5 year old who turns 6 before arriving here in the US). An updated home study will be sent to DCFS Intercountry Coordinator for approval, then USCIS (United States Citizenship and immigration Services), along with a fee, for approval. Then the updated paperwork is sent to Ethiopia.
PRAISE AND PRAYER: Praise God that it took such a short time to be moved to "On Deck!" Three months from DTE (Date to Ethiopia) to being in the top 16 (that we know of) is really, really quick! Please pray that everything, and I emphasize EVERYTHING, would go smoothly and quickly with the paperwork update and that God would give us the grace to survive any challenges that may arise.
An "On Deck" email is sent when a family is getting close to the top of the referral list. It asks the family to verify their age and gender request and make sure phone information is up to date.
So what does this mean? It means that we "could" receive our referral in 1-3 months! What does that mean? It means that in the next few months, we could know who are kids are!! We are still thinking it's a few months away, but it sure is exciting to be on deck!!!
So what happens after the referral call [that is when our agency calls, begins by saying the words every waiting-to-be-adoptive-parents are longing to hear, "This is your referral call!" and tells you about your child(ren)] - We would get an email with their pictures!!!!!!!! Then we would sign the acceptance letter and return it to America World. They will then be able to petition the courts in Ethiopia for a court date, which would come approximately 1-2 months later. A judge in Ethiopia will look through our paperwork and we will either pass court or something will not be quite right (something wrong on paperwork, judge doesn't come in to court that day, witness not able to show up due to car problems, the list goes on and on) and we will not pass court. If we pass, and 40% of families do not pass the first time, we will receive travel dates of 2-4 weeks later. If we do not pass, our agency will work to fix the error and we will receive another court date. So that's a summary of the journey ahead!!
NEXT STEPS: We will email our Family Coordinator Nicole at America World to verify that we will wait for a sibling referral but that we would be open to children aged 0-5. Then we will email our Social Worker Faith to ask about beginning the process of updating the age range on our home study. This will require Faith to change the age range to o-6 years old (in case we as referred a 5 year old who turns 6 before arriving here in the US). An updated home study will be sent to DCFS Intercountry Coordinator for approval, then USCIS (United States Citizenship and immigration Services), along with a fee, for approval. Then the updated paperwork is sent to Ethiopia.
PRAISE AND PRAYER: Praise God that it took such a short time to be moved to "On Deck!" Three months from DTE (Date to Ethiopia) to being in the top 16 (that we know of) is really, really quick! Please pray that everything, and I emphasize EVERYTHING, would go smoothly and quickly with the paperwork update and that God would give us the grace to survive any challenges that may arise.
08/19/09 - Thoughts While Waiting
So as we move up the "waiting list" for our children (we began the wait with 11 families, that we knew of, in front of us - there are now 5, that we know of, ahead of us - things moving much faster than we'd thought and should slow down a bit as the Ethiopian courts close from end of August to beginning of October!!!), here's what goes through our, (but mostly Amy's,) minds: excitement, terror, joy, anticipation, all the fun stuff we'll get to register for (yes, I began a list!), how we'll need to kid proof the house and move all the fragile stuff off the living room shelves, what adorable outfits we'll have the kids change into before getting off the plane here in the US, packing up most of the toys in the playroom and introducing a few new toys at a time, deciding on a daily schedule routine (routine being important - EVERYTHING in their lives will have changed!), asking if the ABC quilts Amy will make for each child should be the same or different (we've decided different), developing a plan for when the "referral call" comes (if it comes when just one of us is home or when Amy is working and Mike is sleeping, there are actually quite a few possible scenarios!), making a list of all the people we'll want to tell about the referral call and coming up with the best plan (we're thinking phone trees because we are so blessed by the love of so many!), and planning a Referral Call Celebration - our house, the evening we get the call, champagne/sparkling grape fruit juice and plastic champagne glasses!!! Just a glimpse!
August Adoption Reading List (so far!)
Lots more interesting information!
Finished: Becoming a Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman - it was okay. I (Amy) had Mike read the middle chapters which talked about bringing children home and ways to foster attachment.
Finished: Love in the Driest Season: a Family Memoir by Neely Tucker. I actually listened to this on CD and finished it the day after a comment was posted about it on my July reading blog entry! It is a story about an America couple, living in Zimbabwe, who go through an incredible journey to adopt a baby in Zimbabwe. Amazing! And even on our worst adoption waiting day, I never had to crawl around on my hands and knees in an office looking for our lost file!!
Still Reading:Parenting Your Adopted Child by Andrew Adesman with Christine Adams. This has been GREAT! Lots of "common sense" information which helps me to not feel a bit more confident (yes, I do kind of know how to be a parent!). The book is divided into 4 parts: Basics of Common Sense Adoptive Parenting, As They Grow, Talking About Adoption, and Special Issues. I'm about half way through and wouldn't mind having a copy of this to keep in my library.
Still Reading: Parenting Your Adopted Older Child by Brenda McCreight. I'm actually reading chapters of this book aloud with Mike (I know, how cute!). This book covers all types of adoption, so we are just reading the ones that apply to international adoption. We like this book because the chapters end with several detailed ideas.
Now, lest you think that all I am reading is adoption books:
When I walk, I have been listening to:
3 Nights in August by Buzz Bissinger with Tony LaRussa (ultimately tells the story of a 3 game series between the Cubbies and Cardinals in August of 2003 - the year we were five outs away from he world series! Really gives you insight into the mind of baseball) but have but that aside to listen to, for the second time, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling, read by Jim Dale. I couldn't remember if some events happened in book six and were just left out of the movie or if they happened in book seven - so far they've left a bunch of stuff out of the movie!
I'm also reading:
God Is in the Small Stuff : and It All Matters by Bruce & Stan - Encouraging, quick read that I would also like to add to my library and A Time for Freedom : What Happened When in America by Lynne Cheney - I love history and am loving this book! It is organized by dates, with a few paragraphs after each date, focusing on political happenings in the US. Having taught fifth grade for seven years in which social studies curriculum is all US History, I am familiar with everything I have read so far. But we only teach up to the Civil War in fifth grade, so I know I'll be learning some new things soon!
Finished: Becoming a Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman - it was okay. I (Amy) had Mike read the middle chapters which talked about bringing children home and ways to foster attachment.
Finished: Love in the Driest Season: a Family Memoir by Neely Tucker. I actually listened to this on CD and finished it the day after a comment was posted about it on my July reading blog entry! It is a story about an America couple, living in Zimbabwe, who go through an incredible journey to adopt a baby in Zimbabwe. Amazing! And even on our worst adoption waiting day, I never had to crawl around on my hands and knees in an office looking for our lost file!!
Still Reading:Parenting Your Adopted Child by Andrew Adesman with Christine Adams. This has been GREAT! Lots of "common sense" information which helps me to not feel a bit more confident (yes, I do kind of know how to be a parent!). The book is divided into 4 parts: Basics of Common Sense Adoptive Parenting, As They Grow, Talking About Adoption, and Special Issues. I'm about half way through and wouldn't mind having a copy of this to keep in my library.
Still Reading: Parenting Your Adopted Older Child by Brenda McCreight. I'm actually reading chapters of this book aloud with Mike (I know, how cute!). This book covers all types of adoption, so we are just reading the ones that apply to international adoption. We like this book because the chapters end with several detailed ideas.
Now, lest you think that all I am reading is adoption books:
When I walk, I have been listening to:
3 Nights in August by Buzz Bissinger with Tony LaRussa (ultimately tells the story of a 3 game series between the Cubbies and Cardinals in August of 2003 - the year we were five outs away from he world series! Really gives you insight into the mind of baseball) but have but that aside to listen to, for the second time, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling, read by Jim Dale. I couldn't remember if some events happened in book six and were just left out of the movie or if they happened in book seven - so far they've left a bunch of stuff out of the movie!
I'm also reading:
God Is in the Small Stuff : and It All Matters by Bruce & Stan - Encouraging, quick read that I would also like to add to my library and A Time for Freedom : What Happened When in America by Lynne Cheney - I love history and am loving this book! It is organized by dates, with a few paragraphs after each date, focusing on political happenings in the US. Having taught fifth grade for seven years in which social studies curriculum is all US History, I am familiar with everything I have read so far. But we only teach up to the Civil War in fifth grade, so I know I'll be learning some new things soon!
The Blue Crate Update
During our paper chase process, I posted about the blue crate, the place we kept and organized all out paperwork: http://godsplanaformikeandamy.blogspot.com/2009/03/31809-blue-crate.html
Since we have been DTE [Date to Ethiopia - the day all our paperwork, (except for the copy we kept and the copy America World, our international agency, kept) was sent to Ethiopia] the crate has found a new home - the floor of my closet. And as you can tell, I have been putting anything into the files but rather just setting it on top! Ahhhhh, not having to worry about paperwork!
Since we have been DTE [Date to Ethiopia - the day all our paperwork, (except for the copy we kept and the copy America World, our international agency, kept) was sent to Ethiopia] the crate has found a new home - the floor of my closet. And as you can tell, I have been putting anything into the files but rather just setting it on top! Ahhhhh, not having to worry about paperwork!
More Presents from Friends
We were blessed with these cots from Amy's friend Sue to use when we go camping with our children! They're set up in the playroom in this picture, but I can't wait to take a picture of two beautiful sleeping babies on them!!
Our friend Karen gave us some extra teaching materials she had: a picture dictionary and picture flash cards. The book is awesome - lots of great, mulitcultrural pictures, a rhyme on each page, and everything is labeled. The flashcards have the same picture on each side, one labeld and pne not labeled.
We are so blessed!!
Our friend Karen gave us some extra teaching materials she had: a picture dictionary and picture flash cards. The book is awesome - lots of great, mulitcultrural pictures, a rhyme on each page, and everything is labeled. The flashcards have the same picture on each side, one labeld and pne not labeled.
We are so blessed!!
Dollar Tree Treasures
So last week a teacher friend bought these cool window clings for her classroom from the Dollar Tree, where everything, you guessed it, is only one dollar!
I headed to the store to get some for our house as our children might be old enough to play with them when they arrive. There were lots more clings to choose from!
I headed to the store to get some for our house as our children might be old enough to play with them when they arrive. There were lots more clings to choose from!
And then I found these audio Bible stories/devotionals.
7/29/09 - 2 Months!!
Two months have flown by! We are loving praying for and thinking about our children. This month found us asking God what He desired of us in the waiting months. We were led to really dive into adoption books and reading about attachment and bonding issues, hence many trips to the library and reading of blogs of Yahoo Group friends who are home with their children. Hopefully the next few months will bring a new job for Mike (he is done today with the last class he needed for his graphic design degree!!) which, when updating our home study, will allow us to increase our age range for 0-3 years old to 0-5 years old!NEXT STEPS: In addition to more reading, we are working to finish a wonderful online class we started about a year ago. It is called Eyes Wide Open and contains 20 or so chapters all centered around international adoption. It has been wonderful so far!!
PRAISE AND PRAYER: Praise God for calling us on this amazing journey and supplying everything we need in His own way and in His time frame!! Pray for our children in Ethiopia, that they are healthy and safe and loved. Pray for their family too - their sorrow will lead to our joy. Please also pray that God would bless us with the job He has prepared for Mike.
7/17-7/19/09 - Family Camp Out
Our 5th Annual Family Camp Out!!
Mom and Dad and brother Donny getting the campsite set up.
Mike writing in the log, a tradition he brought into the marriage. It sure is fun to be able to look back at what we've done on camping trips and vacations. How amazing will our Ethiopia log be!!!
Cooking the big Saturday breakfast.
Saturday dinner: pizza sandwiches and hot dogs.
What a cute couple!
It was a bit cool on Sunday (don't think much above 75 degrees) but we still braved the pool!
Mom and Dad and brother Donny getting the campsite set up.
Mike writing in the log, a tradition he brought into the marriage. It sure is fun to be able to look back at what we've done on camping trips and vacations. How amazing will our Ethiopia log be!!!Cooking the big Saturday breakfast.
Amy being crazy with her two 'Baby Girls,' nieces Samantha and Maddy!
Saturday dinner: pizza sandwiches and hot dogs.
What a cute couple!
It was a bit cool on Sunday (don't think much above 75 degrees) but we still braved the pool!
We lay in the tent Sunday morning enjoying being able to wake up slowly and just lay there. We talked about how we would fit another air mattress (or pack and play, depending on the age of our children) in the tent and wondered if maybe next year there would be two little people crawling on us and asking when it would be time to get up. We're gladly ready to take the second scenario over the first!!!
July - Adoption Reading List
So I (Amy) have spent July perusing our local library for adoption books and stories about Ethiopia.
I had heard the story There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene mentioned several times on my Yahoo Group (we are all from the same international adoption agency, America World, and are all adopting from Ethiopia). To say the book was amazing is an understatement. It is the beautiful and heartbreaking story of an Ethiopia woman, Haregewoin Teferra, living in the capital city of Addis Ababa, who after losing both her husband and one grown daughter, is asked to take in a teenage girl and then a teenage boy and then two young girls. She then feels her life has purpose again. Her home eventually becomes an orphanage to over sixty children before she discovers foreign adoption agencies with families interested in adopting the children and since then more than 400 children have been through her home. In between Haregewoin's story there is Ethiopian history - every time something was said, I thought, wait, let me hear that again! There was also the history and impact of AIDS on the continent of Africa and in Ethiopia. Also included were histories of some of the children in the orphanage as well as some information on their lives after they are adopted. One of the many, many thoughts I had while reading this book is I don't know if it would be better for our children to remember their birth parents of not. I highly recommend this book - it is a must read. To learn more visit: http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/
Another book I just finished is called Becoming a Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman. It obviously talked about attachment, how a child attaches to their parents, how attachment can be disrupted, and strategies to deal with attachment issues. While the book talked mostly about baby adoptions, there are still many things we'll be able to use with older children. And I did get the great idea of purchasing gifts in Ethiopia to give our children over the years! (We knew we'd buy clothes and decorative items for the house, but I'd never thought about ongoing gifts - awesome!). And there was a beautiful adoption story written by a father for his adopted daughter starting from the time her "China Mom and Dad" knew they wouldn't be able to take care of a baby and after watching the sun set, placed her in a spot where she would be found, taken to an orphange, and eventually adopted. The story ends with the Forever Mom and Dad holding the "Beautiful Baby Girl" and watching the sunset. Precious, and I can't wait to write our own and have Mike illustrate it!!
I have just begun another book called Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits: a Sourcebook for Multicultural Families by Myra Alperson, a single woman who adopted a daughter from China. The book is organized into four parts: We Are Family, Moving Forward, Meeting Challenges, and Resources. I am enjoying it so far and will share what I learn.
I had heard the story There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene mentioned several times on my Yahoo Group (we are all from the same international adoption agency, America World, and are all adopting from Ethiopia). To say the book was amazing is an understatement. It is the beautiful and heartbreaking story of an Ethiopia woman, Haregewoin Teferra, living in the capital city of Addis Ababa, who after losing both her husband and one grown daughter, is asked to take in a teenage girl and then a teenage boy and then two young girls. She then feels her life has purpose again. Her home eventually becomes an orphanage to over sixty children before she discovers foreign adoption agencies with families interested in adopting the children and since then more than 400 children have been through her home. In between Haregewoin's story there is Ethiopian history - every time something was said, I thought, wait, let me hear that again! There was also the history and impact of AIDS on the continent of Africa and in Ethiopia. Also included were histories of some of the children in the orphanage as well as some information on their lives after they are adopted. One of the many, many thoughts I had while reading this book is I don't know if it would be better for our children to remember their birth parents of not. I highly recommend this book - it is a must read. To learn more visit: http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/
Another book I just finished is called Becoming a Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman. It obviously talked about attachment, how a child attaches to their parents, how attachment can be disrupted, and strategies to deal with attachment issues. While the book talked mostly about baby adoptions, there are still many things we'll be able to use with older children. And I did get the great idea of purchasing gifts in Ethiopia to give our children over the years! (We knew we'd buy clothes and decorative items for the house, but I'd never thought about ongoing gifts - awesome!). And there was a beautiful adoption story written by a father for his adopted daughter starting from the time her "China Mom and Dad" knew they wouldn't be able to take care of a baby and after watching the sun set, placed her in a spot where she would be found, taken to an orphange, and eventually adopted. The story ends with the Forever Mom and Dad holding the "Beautiful Baby Girl" and watching the sunset. Precious, and I can't wait to write our own and have Mike illustrate it!!
I have just begun another book called Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits: a Sourcebook for Multicultural Families by Myra Alperson, a single woman who adopted a daughter from China. The book is organized into four parts: We Are Family, Moving Forward, Meeting Challenges, and Resources. I am enjoying it so far and will share what I learn.
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