2/12/10 - "So how are you doing?"

If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me this over the past few weeks or if I was excited, I'd have a little extra spending money in Ethiopia!

And what's my answer been so far: "I don't know how I'm doing!"

I have seriously pondered this question all week. How am I doing? Am I excited? This has been such a long journey for us, 5 years and 3 months since beginning to try and start a family and 21 months in this adoption process. And for those of you who know our story or know international adoption, there are always bumps in the road. We were told that and they were to be expected, but it didn't make them any easier. So you guard your heart and prepare for things to change and prepare to wait. But now the waiting is done (except for that long plane ride!) and the wonderful and challenging and expected and unexpected changes that are coming can only be imagined: what will their voices sound like? what will their laughs sound like? will they recognize us from the care package photos? how long will it take for them to love us? what will is feel like to get their first true hugs? how long and hard is the plane ride home really going to be? what will they think of snow? will they like the pictures on their bedroom walls? will they be able to sense how much their cousins love them? what will they think of my attempts at injera? will they like bath time? will their personalities match their pictures? what about their first trip to the zoo, the library, camping, swimming, play dates? what will they think of this whole new culture? will they ever really know how much joy they have brought us?

And I have come to the conclusion that I am overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by a Father who could love me so much to place these two precious boys in my care. I am overwhelmed by the support of friends and family and coworkers and strangers during this entire process. We seriously have a cheering squad of hundreds!! I am overwhelmed by His financial provision and support of this adoption. I am overwhelmed at the thought of being responsible for two little bodies, minds, and souls. I am overwhelmed by the thought that I will love my sons more than I already do. I am overwhelmed at the thought of my husband finally becoming a Daddy. I am overwhelmed at the thought of finally being called "Mommy" (and not because one of my students accidentally called me that!). I am overwhelmed that this path has always been God's Plan A for us and that He felt I was worthy enough to walk the path of adoption. I am overwhelmed and humbled and loved and supported and ready to go get my boys!!