09/20/10 - Seven Months

"Howdy, partner!" "There's a snake in my boot!"

How the time has flown by!

John and Ryan continue to just love life and all its adventures (and EVERYTHING is an adventure!) and charm the socks off everyone they meet.

Now lest anyone think (especially those following after us on the adoption path) life has been picture perfect since arriving home, let me assure you it has not! It is true there were really no attachment, food, sleep, or behavior issues when the boys arrived home (I realize this is not the norm and PRAISE GOD for this blessing.) and they continue to not really have any issues now, except for the normal sibling arguments, tantrums (Ryan is quickly moving out of that phase though unless he is tired), and not listening. But there have been the times John has remembered and talked about life in Ethiopia with his first family (that was the first time I thought, "I don't want to do this Lord. This conversation is too hard). He has some good memories and some sad memories. And when the sad memories come out and I know I can't fix everything and take his pain away, I don't like it. But I let him know it is okay to talk about it and it's okay to be sad (he kind of doesn't get that concept). And then there are the times he asks me if he could change his skin to white. I know from all the training and reading we did before and during and since the adoption
that it is normal for children to want to "look" like their parents. I tell him God made he and Ryan with brown skin and Mommy and Daddy with white skin. The answer I got back from that was, "I'm going to pray and ask God for white skin." (I must say the boy's always thinking!!). I told him God wasn't going to say yes to that prayer and that I love him and God loves him just they way he is but that's it's okay to want to have white skin like Mommy's. He then asked me if I wished I had brown skin. I told him I sometimes did but that I loved us just the way we are because that is how God created us. The conversation ended with John saying, "Okay, I'll have brown skin." It's come up twice since then and I know it will continue to come up. I have always know but have truly come to realize that adoption is forever - yes they boys will be ours sons for always but adoption and all the facets that go with being a multicultural and biracial family are forever as well.

And life certainly has thrown us a few curve balls. Mike started a new job in August and we have gone from being a lot under employed to just a little underemployed. But he has gone from a job where he was continually disrespected to being appreciated so that's a huge praise. While the new job is still third shift, it is the same days every week - 4 ten hour shifts which is REALLY NICE to have the almost three days off. The last job was 5 days but never the same and hardly ever two in a row off. So to have him awake for a few hours in the afternoon to go back to bed after dinner left me doing bath and bedtime on my own almost ever night, quite exhausting not to mention no us time! But now he is able to have his Bible study quiet time when he comes home from work, then go to sleep, then get up before dinner and stay awake (most nights) until leaving for work at 10pm, more time with the boys and more time with me - yeah!

And since arriving home with the boys in February, just about everything in our house has broken: Mike's car brakes and radiator, my air conditioning - three times )and if it was just me I would have sucked it up, but not with two little boys!), the washing machine, the lawn mower, two smoke detectors and the carbon monoxide detector, three different phones and the answering machine, and the upstairs bathroom sink plugged up. I think I got everything.

And how about those doctor visits: John's four months of visiting the dentist to fix his teeth (my poor baby!), molluscum of the boys faces (tiny white pimple like dots that our doctor and the dermatologist say are very common in children - I however I have never heard of them), two huge colds for both Mike and I after arriving home, a month of me blowing my nose (went to the doctor, the medicine cleared up my cough but not so much the nose), a fungal issue on my face and another part of my body I don't care to disclose and try not to think about to much in general but it is being cleared up with cream and oral medication - yes, gross! - that was accidentally diagnosed as eczema twice, Mike's allergic reaction to an antibiotic he was taking for a weird bug bite that resulted in a trip to the emergency room, and an ultrasound for me because I was having such severe stomach pains (nothing wrong, just stress). There, I think I got everything!!

And I say all of this not complaining in any way - PLEASE know that!! Life is what it is. It can be stressful and messy and surprising. It is a gift and is filled with blessings aplenty if I slow down long enough to see and appreciate them. I just want to be honest in that as great as everything has been with having the boys here there have still been things there were not great. I don't want to be seen as a picture perfect family or even a family that has it all together or even partly together!

I have learned in these months what it really means to trust God and believe in his word. When I read that in all things He works good for those who love Him I struggled with how can these certain things be worked for good. I don't have an answer yet for some of them. But I do know God used a miscarriage and an unsuccessful domestic adoption to lead us to an America World Adoption seminar and ultimately two little boys in Ethiopia - and that is GOOD!

I am thankful that my God will supply me with all I need, for each day, every day, one day at a time.