So how are you doing?

I pondered how I would answer this question as I drove to the doctor last week - more on that later - not because they meant how was I feeling but because they meant how are you doing?

Lots of people have asked since arriving home with the boys how everything was going. And most didn't want the stock, one sentence answer, but really wanted to know how we were. How are the boys? How is life going from no children to a 3 and 4 year old? How is your marriage? How is Mike doing? How is the Lord blessing and growing you?

Since we've gotten home with the boys, there's more mess and more noise. There's more food and clothes to buy. There's new toys to play with and new play grounds to go to. There's lots more laughter in the house and lots more opportunities to demonstrate patience. There's brush your teeth and wash your face time, a shoes off-wash hands song, choosing clothes for the next day before bedtime, "Mommy-a watch!" moments all the time, and basically never a dull moment!

So how am I doing? I am blessed, tired, surrounded by love, frustrated by life's circumstances, and clinging to God's word with all my strength. There are still moments when I hear the boys playing and think, "Wow, they're really here!" I watch them play on our castle play set with Mike and am still amazed that they are really here. Two little pairs of arms reach for me and say, "I love you, Mommy-a," and I am shaken to the core of my being. I waited to hear those words for so long and the Lord has blessed me. But keeping up with two little boys and running the house is hard work, so I'm really tired! Granted, I'm not as tired as those first few weeks after arriving home when I could barely make it past there bed time before dragging myself to bed! And by no means am I complaining either. I love the fact that I am tired because I am taking care of my own children. But I have an amazing support system: small group, friends, family, Yahoo Group. So many people prayed us through this process and share our joy over the boys arrival and give me godly, motherly wisdom. I am constantly blown away by how many people have been affected by this adoption and all the love that is felt toward the boys. And then there's the things in life that I don't enjoy: the ever increasing cost of a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread (yeah for Aldi and Woodmans!), a husband's third shift job which allows only a few hours in the afternoon for us to be together as a family because at some point he needs to sleep and with two active boys in the house that isn't always easy (but yes I am tankful he has a job after he lost his old one the day before our court date last December), the same icky job that when he is hired on by the company would require more than half of his monthly pay check to pay for health insurance for our family (but we are able to be on Cobra at a paying only 35% rate for another 4 months so $500 is way better than $1200!), and whiny meltdowns (kind of like the one that is going on right now by number 2 son over having to go back to sleep at nap time which has resulted in number 1 son waking up - ahh, the adventures of parenthood!). But over all this, there is God's word: And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28. God called us to this adoption and we followed. His word says He will work good IN ALL THINGS and so I trust Him in the midst of life and work uncertainties. God is love ... There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear... 1 John 4:16, 18. Lord, help me love with Your kind of perfect love especially on those challenging days. For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in You. Psalm 84:11-12 and Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8. In the midst of all the newness, unknown, and uncertain, I can cling to my God and my Savior. The same God who spoke to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and brought the Israelites out of Egypt is speaking to me and working for me and in me. His promises are true always; His mercies are new every morning; He provides strength for each day; He is my all in all.

So how am I doing? I get up every day (after hitting the snooze button at least once), spend some time in the Lord's word, and start the day. I don't always do and say everything just how I would like but life doesn't always happen just as we would like. But at the end of each day, I am married to godly man who thinks the world of me, I have two handsome boys who love me and know me as Mommy, and am a dearly loved, child of God. That's a pretty good list!